About Dean.

I’m usually too busy with client work to find the time to write and post my own stuff here at my self-indulgent little site. I hope to remedy that soon.

Though poems have comprised my output of late, I feel the urge upon me to write a great many and variety of things. If I run true to form this accretion of writings is sure to become so monstrously sprawling and disjointed that it’ll cripple the algorithms of whatever Google or N.S.A. database it ends up residing in.

Other stuff about me:

I’m a movie fanatic, and I support the industry by paying for the movies I watch.  

I drink cheap red wine. Shoot pool. Paint the occasional abstract. Write poems.

I believe there is no god, though I wish there was.

I believe in the healing powers of kimchi.

I believe that recycling is a “feel good” waste of time.

I’ve been shot at.

I’m almost always right, but never benefit from my prescience.

I believe that you should read Babbitt, and contemplate it when you look in the mirror.

I believe you should wear sunglasses when possible, and that cheap ones are the best.

I believe I’ve seen a UFO and experienced at least one paranormal event.

I believe Alex Jones is not as crazy as he seems, and that Kevin O’Leary is.

I’m a square peg in a round hole.

My personal mantra is: Don’t Panic.

I keep a plastic skull on my filing cabinet that I talk to when I’m wondering how seriously to take myself.  He wears sunglasses and usually has a cigarette dangling from his bony jaw. I call him “Mr. Perspective”.

I’ve run over myself with my car.

When I was a kid I got my tongue stuck to a freezing metal pole in the playground because I didn’t believe it would stick.

I believe Simon Mann should have watched The Wild Geese a couple more times.

I believe Scientology is the most successful science fiction ever written.

I believe that the Kashmir Valley is the most beautiful place on earth.

I think that the only interesting cultures are sub-cultures.

I used to Scuba dive, until my fear of sharks and drowning ruined my fun.

I believe that White Papers are beautiful and that one day I will get paid to write one.

I can fly a Cessna 172.

I think filing cabinets are sexy.

I talked to bestselling writer Andrew Pyper a couple of times in my favorite bar. It was like talking to a taller, smarter, better dressed, and vastly better educated version of myself. He was cool about it though.

I believe it ain’t luck until you push it.

All evidence to the contrary, I believe in sentence variety.

I admire  Buddhist philosophy, though I think reincarnation is bullshit.

I’m pro business.

I think of myself as a failed seeker, because I’m unable to transcend the limits of my thinking.

I believe I’m a pawn in a vicious game, players unknown.

Margret Laurence is my favorite novelist. My favorite prose stylist is Hunter Thompson.

I wish I was as clever and erudite as Christopher Hitchens, but half as arrogant.

I believe that the only way to know something is true is to make it up.

I believe that either everything is funny, or nothing is.

I think manners are important.

I believe that the theory of cognitive dissonance is the unified field theory that explains all human motivation.

I know you can never understand your own culture until you’ve experienced a foreign one.

My favorite movie is The Man who Would be King.  My favorite television series is The Rockford Files.

I believe Slingblade is a perfectly structured film.

I’ve developed an unhealthy fascination with the black art of copywriting over the past few years, though I haven’t got my hands dirty yet.

I worked at a weather station in the high arctic.

I can’t function without coffee.

I’m never sure if I’m kidding, or not.

I believe that Sylvia Plath’s  recording of  Father is the best recorded reading of a poem ever.

I’m a Humanist and a Libertarian.

I believe in being neighborly, when possible.

I believe in  proper grammar and punctuation (again, all evidence to the contrary).

My favorite band  is The Rolling Stones. My favorite Stones song is Gimmee Shelter.

My favorite musician is Bob Dylan, and my favorite Dylan album is Nashville Skyline.

I’ve been to every province and territory in Canada.

I’ve also been to England, Ireland, Spain, Italy, Portugal, Belgium, France, Morocco, Thailand, India, Greece, Germany,  and Holland.

Most importantly: Where I am, ain’t where I’m at. You dig?